The Infestation By Brian McGough

A thousand furious spiders climbed the inside of the pasta pot. When they reached the top, the spiderlings boiled over the edge, scampered down the scalding walls and scattered, teeming across the range onto the kitchen counters. He went after them with a torch and practically burned the house down exterminating them. He disposed of most of the scorched remains, but a smoky odor lingered as proof. He must have missed one, though, because when he brandished the butcher knife to dice the pepper, what looked like the mother ascended the spine of the blade. Luckily, he saw her gleaming fangs just before they dug into his knuckles, and he flattened the pest using the knife like a pestle. He sliced open his hand doing so, although you could see the wound better if it weren’t for the bandage.

When he finally split open a pepper, white ants poured out from the placenta onto the cutting board, and he had to squash them each individually with his thumb and forefinger. Traumatized, he sat down on the couch with a beer to settle his nerves, and that’s where his girlfriend found him when she arrived home with the kids. She was upset — even after hearing about the infestation — that he didn’t finish making dinner the one night she had asked him to.

© 2014 Brian McGough

Brian McGough is a recent college graduate now traveling and working is Asia. He hopes to get an MFA in the future. You can find him at https://mrhoneywell.wordpress.com

 

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