Twittercide By P.J.Sambeaux

April 27, 2015 Comments Off on Twittercide By P.J.Sambeaux

Rodney:  She tweeted he was too immature for a relationship, and he tweeted: bitch cheated.  So she tweeted: not true, and he tweeted: #lyingskankswhoneedalife. So she tweeted: for the record, he’s the one who cheated, and he tweeted: not what my buddy says #brosbeforehos.  So she tweeted: my mother always says you can never go wrong staying classy and rising above, and he tweeted: somebody should shut that bitch-ass-ho up.

Interviewer: So you did?

Rodney: I did.

Interviewer: How did you know that’s what he actually wanted?

Rodney: It’s not up to me to question His word.

Interviewer: You think of him as a sort of god?

Rodney: He is a God, yes.

Interviewer: Are you his only disciple?

Rodney: He has six million followers on Twitter.

Interviewer: And when did you first find god?

Rodney: He reached out to me when I lost my job. He didn’t judge me. He never failed me. He never walked out on me. He never left my side.

Interviewer: You watched his reality show?

Rodney: I recognized the wisdom in his teachings.

Interviewer: Have you ever actually met your god?

Rodney: No. Have you ever met yours?

© 2014 P.J. Sambeaux

P.J. Sambeaux’s spent a feral childhood running in the foothills of the Appalachians. Her work has been published most recently in Space Squid, Flash Fiction Magazine, The Broken City, and Alliterati. Her first novel, The Youniverse, tells the tale of a planned community gone awry (and Orwellian), and is available on She currently lives in Pittsburgh.

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